The Fallacy of Women's Self Defense (Part 2)

Training for Violence

Previously I discussed a couple of areas where I think we are lacking in self defense training for women. Part 2 of the Blog continues the theme and then extends to a suggested framework for how we might better prepare women for violence. Let’s start with one touchy subject: the very idea of women’s only self defense classes.

Women's Only Classes

Why do we run classes open only to women? Well, most women seem to be uncomfortable training with men. So, to give women the opportunity to train we exclude the men. There are a couple of reasons for this discomfort in my discussion with students on this topic. First, some women feel they “hold the men back” because they don’t train as hard. Second, some ladies feel downright intimidated being around men. This can be due to previous experience or fear of getting hurt or a myriad of other reasons. You can see their point watching the younger “bros” down at the local gym. This obviously does not speak to all women. Some train hard and are very “bad ass” and would rather mix in freely with men. But this seems to be atypical. But, is this representative of what they will see if violence comes into their lives?

Training with Men

Statistically speaking, I would say that the likelihood of a woman being attacked by another woman is low – not zero, but low. So why then would we not choose to have them train with the different male body types and strengths they might encounter. A recent case in point involved a women’s class I taught. We were doing a Krav Maga standing rear naked choke defense. A young lady was partnered with her grandmother. Well, granny wasn’t putting the choke on with any precision because she didn’t want to hurt the young lady (and I can see the point). The grandmother asked if I could apply the choke to her granddaughter so she could defend it. I applied it very lightly but technically accurate. The younger girl’s immediate response was “GAA!” You could feel her entire body tense. She said it was massively different trying to defend it just because of the strength and size difference. But I didn’t use any strength. It was eye opening for the class. If women are grabbed by a 6’7” male, the strike picture changes. Women need to see this situation and have a strategy for defense before they have to figure it out “on the fly”. We want women to be comfortable enough to train. However, there is a truth that may be controversial in the self-defense world – violence is uncomfortable.

On the surface we agree that violence is uncomfortable but how we train is very sterile in most cases. We hit big pads that don’t hit back or have any punitive effect if hands drop, or we miss the strike or whatever. We don’t talk too much about digging into the eye socket and peeling out the eyeball like peeling an orange. We rarely discuss or simulate striking with eyes blinded because of our own blood running into them. It is a very different self defense experience that needs some treatment. The question is how to train this without turning the school into a bloodbath or “Fight Club”.

Training Framework

To me the proper way to train ladies is to get more philosophy based. These are concepts to apply rather than strikes to learn or techniques to master. Here are some philosophies that need to be foundational to self-defense – especially women’s:

• W.I.N – What’s Important Now (WIN). This acronym and activity are an attempt to break down a big self defense problem into a series of steps. Am I being choked? Then stop the choke; Is someone holding a knife to me? Deal with the knife. This lets a woman think about just the step in front of her and could keep her from “gridlocking” in a violent situation. Teach them to always ask what do I have to do now? WIN.

• Awareness – Not being attacked is the most sure-fire way to avoid being injured or killed. This can be accomplished by a variety of means. Not putting yourself in potentially risky situations, recognizing aggressive behaviors and personality types, and using “verbal judo” to deescalate a situation.

• Injure, Don’t Fight – If it comes time to defend herself, women need to understand how to incapacitate a predator. The concept of striking a soft part of the anatomy with something hard is a fundamental concept. Use of body weight in strikes is foundational. In short, we must teach how to hit and where to hit.

• Use of Tools – A tool is a device that makes achieving a desired effect easier. We can apply the strike something soft with something hard principle here. A laptop computer, fire extinguisher, brick, pen, knife, etc. can all be used against targets like the eyes, throat, side of neck. We should teach women to use everything possible to overwhelm their assailant.

• Selective Use of Male Training Partners - It seems classes for women should have a trusted cadre of male training partners. Whether these are instructors or first responders or something like that. But males that can both represent the male population of size and strength as well as creating a trusting atmosphere.

Summary

This could be a very controversial Blog and it is meant to evoke thought and discussion. What I am after is simple: the best self defense training possible. There should be a rethinking of how women are trained and the provided framework is a good place to begin the dialog. Other things can be added like anti abduction. But what can we do with a single seminar versus longer term committed training? That is what needs to be answered for viable women's self defense training.